In February, we will focus on the career change in the group. If you’d like to know more, join the group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/325643245535040

Starting a new year is often comes with resolutions. Many of us decide to change our attitude, transform habits, lose weight, read a book every month, and I could list more. However, after the first few weeks, the momentum runs out, and often nothing is left of these desires.

Why is this happening?

1. Because we don’t say precisely what we want.

For example, I want to be happier. I want to earn more money/be rich. I want to lose weight. Say exactly what do you want to achieve? Give as many details as you can!

What is happiness means to me? On a scale from 1-10 where one ‘unhappiness’ and the tenth is ‘happiest’ state, I can imagine where am I now? What can I do to move up one level on this scale in the next month? What can I do to move up two levels? How much money do I earn now? How much could I make? How likely is it to happen? And so on.

2. Because we don’t make the desirable state measurable.

For example, I want to lose weight!

What is my current weight? How much do I want to drop off? Realistically, what is the ideal weekly / monthly weight loss according to my health? What dietary changes can I incorporate into my life? What kind of movement can I incorporate into my life?

3. Because the goal is unachievable or unattractive to us.

Staying with the example of the previous weight loss, if we don’t decide for ourselves that we want to lose a few pounds, but because we want to meet someone’s expectations. These unspoken thoughts, often hidden from us, form mental blocks. It is important to choose a goal that is truly appealing to us and not coming from an external source.

4. Because our goal is unrealistic.

Also, staying at weight loss, it’s not realistic to expect from ourselves to drop 20 kilos in 3 months to have the perfect beach body for the summer. On the one hand, it is unhealthy and, in many cases, does not even prove to be permanent.

5. Because the subject of our resolution is not timebound, as Exuperie said, a goal without a plan is just a wish. Placing our ideas in time helps us think through and break down a larger idea into subtasks.

For example, I want to learn Japanese. Once I have chosen where I will study, I can assign dates to my progress. It will motivate me to stick to my schedule. If I might move forward faster, it’s worth rewarding myself.

If something doesn’t work out the way I originally planned because the activity takes more time, or I don’t feel so motivated about my goal, it’s worth redesigning and not throwing away the whole plan.

And in the end, just a little advice I learned from my PT, Ket: less change is more. You don’t want to change a bunch of things in your life at the same time. Change ONE and focus on it. And don’t rush yourself; give time for the change. Don’t think about giving up in the first round. You can do this! And if you need help, don’t hesitate to reach out, send me a message, and I am more than happy to help. 

In Hungary, where I’m originally from, we celebrate Christmas on the 24th of December. That is why I chose this day to finish my countdown today with you!

We walked together in these last few weeks and got ready to arrive and open up for this festive period. These two years were difficult and challenging for many, and I hope you will find peace, magic and love in yourself and your home!

The 4th step I brought to you today is: Be present! 

According to a podcast I heard recently on Spotify: the most important moment in our lives is not on social media, not recorded because these are inside of us. Our emotions, thoughts, the warmth in our hearts.

So, before you get up the following day, maybe your children are around you. Just stay in bed together for another half an hour, play or talk or sing or just laugh. During the day, recognise small happy moments: the smell of your morning tea or coffee, the taste of the Christmas dinner, a lovely afternoon walk with the dog, a soft touch of your clothes. Try to gather as much information as you can and hold them in your mind.

As a mum, I was always in a rush; I baked and cooked and collected the Christmas gift by myself and went crazy during multitasking. I was exhausted when I finally collapsed on the couch on Christmas Eve, and I didn’t enjoy it at all. Because I felt like an empty shell, and as my coaching mentor said to me, “you can’t share from an empty bowl’. And then my husband stopped me and said Christmas is not about this, and together we created new traditions which make both of us happy, calm and fulfilled.

So these steps I shared in these few weeks are not cut in stone; I wrote them as a starting point.

Questions:

1. Why do you like Christmas? 
2. What is your favourite Christmas story from your childhood? 
3. What is giving means to you? 
4. How do you express your care and love? 
5. What can you do to make this Christmas memorable? 
6. Is there anything you’d like to say no to this Christmas?
7. I hope you liked these questions, and I would be more than happy to hear your answers! 

• I want to be happier.
• I want to earn more.
• I want to visit Japan.
• I want more time for myself.
• I want to be less stressed.
• I want to communicate better with my partner.
• I want to develop spiritually.

I can continue with much more, but these are the ‘goals’ clients said to out what they’d like to achieve or change. Exupery’s quote expresses perfectly why we need to set up goals properly.

In the first session, we focus on this topic. What is your dream goal, and how to build a coaching goal from it? Why is it necessary? By creating SMART goals after your coaching programme, you will solve this kind of problem in your life. Stuck in a life situation could be stressful and take a lot of energy from us. Finding our way out from it gives us the power and self-confidence to move forward and improve other areas in our lives.  

What is SMART goal? I will show you examples.

Specific: ‘I want to be happier.’

What is happiness means to you? What was the last time you felt happy? On a scale from 1-10, where are you now? For example, you think you’re on 5. How is it feels? What is your goal? Your goal is to be on 8. Think about it! What is the difference? What can you do to make it 6/7/8?

Measurable: ‘I want to earn more money.’

How much do you earn now? Why do you want to make more? How much more money do you need? Is it possible to get a raise in your current position somehow? If yes, how? If not, what else could you do to get more money?

Achievable sometimes Attractive: ‘I want to visit Japan this year.’

Can you do it now? No, because of the pandemic, and I don’t have enough money. Is it likely you can change these components to achieve your goal? No, I can’t change how the pandemic goes. Also, I lost my job. I need to find a new one, and it is October now. So, what do you think? Is this goal achievable this year? No, I should think about it and plan to go there maybe next year.

In another situation, the client realises that studying to be a lawyer is not attractive because it wasn’t her choice, but her parents. And this is the reason she keeps procrastinating all the time and not putting effort into her studies.

Realistic: ‘I want more me time.’ 

Draw a circle and think about your tasks: family duties, groceries shopping, working, friend, sleep, me time etc. White down these tasks. How many hours a day do you do these during the week? How many per cent do you do these in a week? Draw in the circle. How can you change this? If you find this challenging, try a productive timer app where you can measure how many hours you spend on each task for a week or two.Time-bound: ‘I want another job.’

Every goal needs a time-bound to know when you will achieve your goal. It helps you to keep your focus. Also, important if this is too far, you create smaller steps, milestones for guidance. When would you like to achieve your goal? How would you like to find another job? When would you like to start in your new job? Choose a date and time that feels realistic and achievable to you and write it down!

Think about it, and if you feel this is helpful to you, take some notes for yourself and answer the questions. Create milestones, step by step plans for yourself. If you feel you need more help or have any qquestion,sdon’t hesitate to message me, and I am more than happy to help!

Before the pandemic, I was a remedial and sports massage therapist. My purpose was to help others to feel better in their body and reconnect themselves. But in the meantime, I searched for a tool that could help me be a better therapist. And I find life coaching, which is precisely the method I was searching for because, with this, I can support my clients to transform their lives with small steps. And the whole journey started with me.

Why? Because I started coaching myself too. I learned how to develop new habits and live healthier lives. I am 38 years old now and have three children. Like many parents, I always put myself back, and over the years, I became overweight and not very active however the massages made me much stronger.

Last year during the first lockdown, like many of us, I felt overwhelmed, depressed. I realised that I need to adapt to this new situation quickly. I started to be more physically active. I did home workouts 2-3 times a week from March 2020. Later, I added daily stepping to my routine, and first time in my life, I signed up for the One Million Steps Challenge for Diabetes UK and completed it between 1^st of July 2020 – 30^th of September 2020. This was my first big achievement, and I was so proud of myself. It helped me keep going, because I must admit that I became more active, but my weight stayed the same which was very disappointing.

I tried (but not really) to focus on what am I eating and asked for help from the GP, who referred me to the Weight Management Team. Unfortunately, I had to wait for their letter for almost a year.

But I believed in coaching and started to believe in myself, too, so from January 2021, I started a new diet. And finally, IT WORKED, IT IS STILL WORKING! I lost more than 30 lbs (14 kg)!

Was it challenging?

Yes, it was.

Was it sometimes hard?

Yes, it was.

Was it doable?

Definitely!

How did I do it?

With small steps, with COACHING?

If you feel lost, you think you tried everything, and nothing works for you, believe I know how you feel. I was there! But, if you also think you want to give it a try, you want to develop new habits and find a doable programme for you, contact me and let me help you! I BELIEVE IN YOU! THIS IS NOT JUST A PHRASE: YOU CAN DO IT! 

Love: Eva